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Viti the Lich
Viti Biography
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The sad and real story of my life, (and afterlife):


Hi!!, I'm Viti. I was born in Hispalence, a small village in the northeast of Erathia, and reborn in the Pit, deep in the heart of Deyja. Yes, I am a lich. I hope that this fact won't make you afraid of me, or won't allow us to become friends. Believe me, being a Lich is terrible for your social life, and not that I had a great social life as a human, but frankly - when you can't go out with your friends to have a drink because the liquid escapes through your bones, then you have a problem to know people or getting a girlfriend. But let's not deviate from the main subject. What was I talking about... ahhh... yes, my life's story.


There is not much to say about my life as a human. I grew up happily as a peasant, working 24 hours a day to help my parents with the farming, (you know, feudal system... they always want more, so you give them what they want or they enslave your mother and sisters, but not before burning your house. Ahhhh... they are like little children...). But I never had problems with the nobles, (at least not more than any other oppressed peasant), I had problems with Sencho, my elder, (and more stupid), brother.


I was killed during one of the undead's attempts to conquer a part of Erathia. I was a brave soldier, and fought hard in the battle against those murderous ghostly creatures but finally, I couldn't resist the power of the Skeleton hordes, and got killed.


Yes, that would have been a great story to tell my grandsons, but... it's just false. The truth is that my brother Sencho killed me with a sickle while we were reaping the crop, (though those times, the Undead were fighting Queen Catherine's armies, that was true). Nobody saw the "accident". Yes, accident... that was what Sencho said. And all was due to a girl. Ahh... Maite, what a girl. I was in love with her and she loved me too. The only problem was that Sencho loved her too, and he couldn't bear the fact that I was going to marry her, emancipate, have my own rented lands and house, have at least twenty sons and live happily working 24 hours a day for the rest of the eternity... HE WANTED ALL THAT FOR HIMSELF!! My god, how stupid can become a human being, now I wouldn't move a finger to get any of those things. It must be the undead state that gives you a certain perspective, (that and the fact that we undead are so lazy that wouldn't move a finger to get almost anything... and even less if that thing includes working 24 hours a day of course).


However, not much time ago I returned to my home as a lich with the hope that she would accept me, (I really don't know why, but I needed to get back and see her again). I found out that she finally got married with Sencho and didn't want to know anything about me. She didn't like my osseous structure, thought that my face was too corrupt, my character was too cold... I AM A LICH!!! WHAT THE HELL DID SHE WANT? How superficial women can be.


I found out that liches too are not very welcome among humans after a long war against the Undead... even if you belong to the family, (they wanted to kill me, can you imagine that? My own family!!!). Humans have so many prejudgements.


Well, after Sencho finished with me, I was just a dead body and the undead like dead bodies, to transform them into more undeads. Firstly, I was picked up to be transformed into a skeleton, but my body wasn't like any other body... it was very similar to Teban's body. Teban was one of the most powerful wizards in the whole Erathia... and they just confused me with him, hehe! What a disappointment they got, when resurrecting me as a lich, they found out that I didn't know how to cast even the simplest of the spells. Then they started to suspect they had chosen the wrong dead, (the undead are not very clever, so they took their time to finally accept that fact).


That way, I had become a powerful being but without any expertness in how to use my strong magical powers.
So, I was ordered to serve as an apprentice for an old lich, called Roflo. Roflo had been reborn as a lich a long time ago, and he was quite a powerful being.


However, he never had enough character to become a leader neither as human, and nor as an undead. So, he became a scientist and not a fighter. Roflo worked on some very important researches that could make undead more powerful, like sun glasses for Vampires, antidecompose creams for Liches, (very appreciated by the Queens of the Dead), or remedies for bone diseases, (skeletons could never thank him enough for the results). But he never got any result in his researches, so nobody worried much about him, (not even myself I confess).
He made his best to teach me some magic, but I seemed to be quite dumb in that subject. I was always better in the English language in school, but the communication aptitudes are not very appreciated by the Undead. They just.... well, let's say that my mates don't worry much about language. And there are some good reasons. First of all, they just don't mind what you have to tell them. Very individualistic, the undead... And most of them don't even have the appropriate organs to speak correctly, so why to worry about speaking well a language when all you can say is "HUUUUG?"? Ahhh... undead... I can't live with them, but can't live without them.... Well, let's face it... I just can't live. I am a lich, remember?


But those times weren't bad days. I had a lot of free time to spend most of it in the undead tavern called "The Twisted Bone". Yes, we undead have taverns too. Most of us don't drink, just Vampires, who drink mugs of blood. Well it isn't blood actually, (just milk with a red colourant), they don't like blood at all but they will never confess that. You know they like to play the tought guys role, (but trust me the don't get it... everybody laughs at them).


But though we don't drink, the tavern is always full. It's just a place to meet, know other undead, and tell jokes. That was really a funny place, and I made lots of friends there. I made a good Vampire friend called Tole. He was quite stupid and arrogant (as most of the Vampires), but was very funny.


Vampires are the funniest undead in the Pit. That stupid accent and that air of superiority make them look like a caricature. However, they have great success with women, and Tole wasn't an exception... You know, a foreign accent, some elegant clothes, a good physic appearance, some romantic words without any sense at all, and the girl is yours, (did I already tell you how superficial women can be?)


However, those not completely awful days didn't last much. A party of dumb adventurers came to the Pit. Most of them were humans, but there were an elf or dwarf too, (you know, those "good" fellows). It was a lovely night, full of friendship and laughs in the Pit, (hey, we have our good side too), and those damned adventurers simply came and destroyed everything.
First they killed most of the guards around the Pit and later entered and harassed the temple. We hadn't done anything to them or their lords, (just our common little jokes, but that's not enough reason to do that). But they were looking for fame and glory, and any person even more stupid than them had asked to fulfill a certain quest and... of course that quest involved killing of some undeads. IT ALWAYS DOES!!! Why everybody think that killing some poor undeads is an action full of honor and pride? They just come, kill us and later come back home and are acclaimed by their people... and we are the evil guys?


Reconstruction was a hard work. As we aren't physically skilled, the goblin work was a need. But goblins are so bad masons... ahh, if only we had mastered dwarves instead, they are such good builders! But finally, the Pit was rebuilt... of course, we had to pay some dark dwarves to do the job, (damned goblins), and the fee was a fortune. Not only we were trading with masons, (the most lucrative and best merchants in the world), but the dark dwarves are quite evil creatures too... they didn't go with our eyes because we haven't, but they asked for.


Even as a lich, I still had a piece of my heart devoted to humans, (I had been a human all my life, so there were some remaining good feelings about them).
However, since that day I finally renegade of the human condition and completely integrate with my undead state.
So, to fully become a useful tool in the undead society, I decided to seriously start studying magic. That way I listed in the Dark University. That was a great university, with a great reputation. Some of the best Necromancers in the world studied there, and I was full of illusion and wanted to do my best to become a great student. However, I started to discover the "impressive" methods of the undead educative system. Believe me, the tortures when you failed an exam were a big incentive to study hard, I'm a first line witness of that, (unfortunately). But how to not fail the exams when your teachers are so obscure? (as I have said before, communication wasn't one of the undead's virtues).


So the first years were a hell, but later, I started to get the hang of it and increasingly felt how I mastered the innate powers that every lich owns, (well, perhaps innate is not the word of course... in-death perhaps?... oh, never mind).
Finally, I graduated and became a Necromancer.


That was one week ago, and I started to write this bio to save an important part of my existence that now is behind. This book of my past will never be opened again... from now, I'm a new Viti....., and I'm ready to serve the undead objectives and look for glory and fame around the world. What will the destiny offer me?....


But don't blame me or the undead for our actions. Yes, we make evil actions, (nobody discuss that), but no much more than others, (even humans). And at least we have a good reason to do them and that is that we can't fight against our wicked nature. Though I must admit we wouldn't fight against it even if we could... it just would be to much effort for such a lazy beings... but that lazyness is in our nature too so... but if you look at it with other perspective the... all right all right we are evil but it's just so funny hehe.

So, come on, join us!! Give up your past and become 'evil'. It's very funny to be wicked!!!
UUUUUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
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